An Angry Person’s Guide To Survival

You are smiling, or baring your teeth there’s no difference nowadays. The online meeting seems to go on forever, with passive-aggressive comments and patronizing statements that just get on your nerves. But you are not angry, you are smiling. Internally you are screaming, “What the f*ck did you say to me you little sh*t?”. No one will know though, because you are smiling. When the agonizing meeting comes to an end, you pick up your phone scrolling through social media, unfortunately, the situation is not helping with your anger, is it? Whether you live in India or America, the world is burning. And it seems like all we can do is watch from the sidelines. From political crimes and systematic racism to atrocities against farmers by the government everything that is happening will get our blood boiling. The sexual crimes against children and women have reached despicable levels. We get the feeling we are in a dystopian fantasy novel that is going to end poorly for us.

Amidst all this how does one truly survive? A good question. An even better one is of course why should we survive in the burning world? Honestly, I don’t know. I am not going to have an existential crisis conversation now. I will have to, but I am procrastinating as much as possible. So now that we’ve established we have to survive, no matter what the consequences, (I am not gonna ask anyone to go die that seems a little extreme, besides the way it is all going we are all gonna f*cking die anyway) I will tell you some of my secrets to survival. 

One thing to remember is that anger is a secondary emotion. So when you are angry ask yourself if you are hurt or upset and that has transformed into anger. If you find the source, it is easier to deal with anger. Now if you are not able to find any rhyme or reason for your temper tantrums then just check through the following:

• What did you eat during the past 24 hours? Is that enough food? If not… Go eat you little sh*t. I have no patience for your hangry person sh*t.
• Did you drink enough water in the last 24 hours? Acceptable amounts of water are actually 2 to 3 liters of water a day. I know for a fact most of you haven’t so go drink up.
• Have you slept enough in the past 2 or 3 days? If not go take a nap you fool. You are not a machine.
• Have you exercised/ walked or even gotten out of that chair? If not get up you couch-potato. Take a walk. No one’s gonna tell you to do these things. Move before you grow roots. (And before you ask, tossing and turning around in bed does not constitute exercise.)
• Have you talked to anyone in the past 24 hours? It doesn’t have to be a meaningful conversation, just yelling ‘Yeet’ at your annoying sibling or having a deep conversation about the origin of the universe with that special someone whatever you do, talk to someone. Anyone. It is much better than yelling at yourself inside your head.

Here are some of the things you can do when you are having a particularly bad day. Whatever the reason be, don’t just sit there and fumigate, don’t just turn off your emotions. Instead have a step by step process in place for when sh*t hits the fan. So that even when everything goes sideways you have a plan. I am not sure if it will help you as much as it helps me. But here goes…..

• Clean your room– At the risk of sounding like your mom, let me just say, go clean up the room. Have a basket for dirty laundry and do it once a week at the very least. It may not seem like much, but being in a clean environment will help you calm down easier. Also, cleaning is a therapeutic process, get all that dust and cobwebs out, make your bed, you might be all angry, but you can be angry in a cleaner room.
• Take a cold shower– I dunno about you, but taking a cold shower when I am angry really cools me down. Quite literally. Also, cold showers are mostly associated with relaxing, so you are basically tricking your brain to think you are relaxing and not angry. Also, wear your comfiest clothes, this is a mandatory step, trust me.
• Drink water– Drink a tall glass of water, slowly. When you are done, drink another. It will help you feel better. This might seem like obvious advice, but how many of us think about drinking water when we are mentally picturing ourselves literally murdering someone? I know for a fact I don’t. So drink two glasses of water, it will help you feel better emotionally and physically.
• Eat– Do not go to bed hungry, no matter what. Eat a healthy snack, or even if it is not healthy just eat something. Order a pizza, make a PB & Jam sandwich, whatever you feel like eating. (Don’t forget to do the dishes though, otherwise, you will wake up in the morning feeling a little better only to see the dirty sink and get cranky again.)
• Comfort Watch– Now that you are all comfortable settle into your bed, pull up your blankets, and watch one or two episodes of your favorite show. Or watch a funny relaxing movie. Or even a bit of stand up comedy. Anything that will make you laugh.
• Rant– If you are one of those people who will feel better once you rant about it, call one of your friends and tell them, tell them about the crimes against you, rage on about the injustice you faced. Whether they sympathize with you or laugh at your plight (depending on whom you call, both are likely) it is much better than letting the bad thoughts marinate or having an imaginary shouting match in your head.
• Get a good night’s sleep– This again seems like obvious advice, but sleeping for 6 to 8 hours does so much for our bodies, it is scientifically proven (blah blah science stuff). Think of it as switching off our bodies and turning it back on when our brains have stopped functioning. So keep away your phones and listen to something calming if you want to, close your eyes, toss and turn and drift off into asleep. 

If all else fails, write, take a book, and write your frustrations, anger, and hurt. Write it out, along with your coping mechanisms. If it helps at least one person then so be it. If you have a blog/ vlog/ even an Instagram page publish it for everyone to see. So that when you look back you can think ‘Maybe I had a bad day, but at least it made for a good post.’

PS: Please do mention your coping mechanisms and favorite go-to’s after a stressful day in the comments section below. Whether it’s the brand of tea you use or your favorite comfort food or that series that always makes you laugh, I wanna hear all about it.