A letter from the past.

Hey there,

Aren’t you amazed at how fast the time passed?

Have you made any new friends yet?

How have you been?

How was 2020?

In case you don’t remember, this year was a whirlwind of stuff happening.
But you did well all things considering. So needless to say I am proud of you. (or me)

And I am just surprised at how far you’ve come.

You may feel like you are alone and it’s true to an extent. But I want you to remember all the people who helped you when you were upset. They may or may not be a part of your life now. But remember this: they were with you when you needed them the most. That’s what matters right? So keep that in mind. There will be things that you have to face on your own. But that doesn’t matter, everyone has to do this a trail of their own. You are not unloved you are not without friends. You have some pretty awesome friends. They will be rooting for you. And I know things may be hard now. Take your time off. Do the little things that make you happy. Take care of yourself. Be kind to yourself. Study. Play. Have fun. Live your life.

And a lot of people may tell you that you live in a fantasy world. It’s ok. But those of us who know, know that the fantasy world is much better than the real world, isn’t it? So retreat into your fantasy world when the real world sucks. Just don’t forget that your life is here. Read all those books. Have fun in all those fictional lands. Live with the fictional characters. Live a hundred lives. But at the end of the day go to bed as you.

Maybe it’s time to let go of the people who hold you back
I don’t know what you do about them now.
But remember if they made you feel little, if they always put you last, you have no responsibility to put them first.
None.

You don’t have to remain fiercely loyal to someone who doesn’t give you a second thought.
You deserve better.
You know it
Not someone who talks to you because they need your help or your opinion or because they feel guilty for having caused you trouble.
Not someone who doesn’t even ask how you are doing when they haven’t heard from you for some time.
Not someone who doesn’t notice your absence.
So I understand if you don’t talk to them anymore.
I also understand if you haven’t been vocal about it.
It’s okay not to say it out loud.
It is okay to be upset and just walk out of their lives without a word.
If they don’t notice you why should you care?
It’s gonna be okay.
You will always have me.

I will write silly poems to show my gratitude.
I will write tragic letters that I will never send when I am miserable.
I will make myself tea in the middle of the night when bad thoughts plague me and I can’t sleep.
I will hold myself together at 2:00am when sobs wreck through me, and I can’t breathe.
I will binge watch friends on repeat, with a jar of Nutella in hand to cheer me up.

You have my life now,
don’t go around wrecking it.