A Thank-you note to 2020

Looking back on 2020, I can’t help but wonder what a year it has been. Things were definitely bad, not just for me. For everyone. For all of us. During the past year when I felt overwhelmed, confused, defeated, and even frustrated, I wrote down what I was grateful for each day. It would help me calm down, help me realize that not all was lost. I even made tiny bits of paper and wrote down things that made me happy and put them in a jar and called it the “Happiness Jar.” Sounds like an advertisement for Nutella huh? ‘Happiness in a Jar.’ Maybe I should share the idea and make some money off that. What I have described below is in no way a complete list of all things that I am thankful for, but it’s a start.

Even when circumstances were really dire, I was privileged enough to retain my job. This ensured that my roommate and I always had fun. The beginning of this year seemed not much different from the others, but soon with the spread of a pandemic, we were all in lockdown. At the time I was staying in a hostel and almost everyone left except for one of my roommates. To say we had a lot of fun together is an understatement. We used to watch movies after work. We played card games, we played truth or dare and told each other silly stories. The most fun was probably watching horror movies and spooking ourselves. And for all that time together, all the fun we had, all the jokes and stories we shared I am grateful. I am also thankful for the Sunday-special spicy chicken curry that made my eyes water. There was no other person that I’d rather have been locked up with. She took care of me when I was sick. This one time I cried and she cried because she saw me cry. Now if that’s not sweet I don’t what is. She was like an elder sister to me, but also my partner in crime. It was a weird dynamic. But I could tell she genuinely cared. I did the same as well. So needless to say the day we both left I curled up in a corner and bawled.

Even in the most unfortunate situations, I had a couple of friends who had my back. I am so grateful for that. I have a friend who sang me a silly song when I was upset. I have a friend who started this blog with me. Oh yeah! I started a small blog with my friend Gayathri. That was beyond anything I could have imagined. I am extremely happy about that. I always wanted to be able to write something, anything really. But I never got around to doing anything about it. So This blog, even only a handful of people read it, made me very happy. 

I am happy that I got to read a lot of books, they took me to fantasy lands where dragons existed and unicorns roamed free. Where magic was real and myths came to life. I got to see epic heroes fight with villains. I learned about the legends and Kings. I got to see through their eyes. I learned many priceless lessons. I wept when they cried, I giggled at their banter, laughed at their jokes, and marveled at their quips. Those fictional characters became part of my world. And when I was reading those books, even if it was for a few hours, I’d escape this mundane world and go with them, to be a part of their wondrous, enchanting, and magical worlds as well.

There were all the movies I watched, the superhero movies that I have watched and re-watched over the years-they remind me that anyone can be a hero. The funny movies remind me that even in the dark parts of life we can find a joke, even in desperate times, there’s room for laughter. The romcoms reminded me that there is love in the world. Well, not really but romcoms go well with ice-cream. The horror movies helped me take my mind off the real world horrors and focus on the fictional ones. 

I am grateful for the series and the wonderful characters I got to watch. Some of them put me at the edge of my seat, nail-biting, and completely lost in their world as I wait for what happens next. Then there are the comfort watch series. That series we watch when we feel like nothing else makes sense. That series we watch when we want to forget everything else. The one that makes us feel right at home after we are done with all the crime thrillers and crazy heists or time traveling or magic. I am thankful I have one of those too. I discovered a series that taught me about living, about how to be good. I found that the characters taught me to love, to have courage, to value friendship, to be loyal, and how to take care of ourselves.

I learned a bit of water coloring. More like experimenting with it. Most of them turned out rather bad if I am being candid. But I’ve gotta say the process, I enjoyed it a lot. I loved mixing the paint, trying to make a new color, I loved blending the paint and diluting the paint with water to make a softer shade. I loved how the paintbrush moved across the paper. I enjoyed it as it calmed me down. Seriously check it out. It’s therapeutic. I am grateful for all the fun if not experimental food I got to try this year. I am grateful for the short stories I wrote, for the poems I came up with, and even the funny titles I came up with (Or Gayathri came up with, same difference). 

Mostly I am grateful to myself for trying despite the odds to stay happy in the middle of it all. Perhaps there is indeed a silver lining to every cloud if we are willing to look for it.